To Love And Back

TODAY skies are painted colors of a cowboy cliche'

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Thursday, May 27, 2010 @ 2:17:00 AM

i end right here,right now.As i ran back through my life,i stop at one point of time.i dropped what i was holding and a tear ran down my face.i remembered the smiles i made on my parents face.i could not forget that.i would never.i don't know what had brought me to such i place like this.i have never been able to put a smile like that on their face ever again.i tried and fail.i tried again and i fail.this time.i failed miserably.i just don't ever know how to do it again.i wanna put a smile like that on their face and i want them not to forget it but i just guess it is now impossible.i know there are chances.i know there is another time but i want to do it now.i don't them to suffer anymore.i know behind those fake smiles they hurt so badly.they are disappointed in what i have done to them.i know that they are actually happy but i also know that every time they think of my future,it kills them.i know very well that is kills them so badly.i just wanna see that again.i just don't wanna replay that again.i wanna see it live in front of me.With that.i end here.i end everything i end almost half of my life.i now live as a total nobody even though i already am a nobody.i end blogging.i end everything.like i said i end half of my life.Anyone can try and put some sense into my brain but i would deny it. fairy tales and dreams come true.that's what they all say that they will come true but all and all they don't and i know it.No matter what i will only return once i put a smile on my parents face.once i put a smile a bright and real smile on my face and on everyone Else's.i am a failure from here but i know i will never be one at the end.i know what i would do to bring that moment back to my life.i know i am not just gonna stand here and wish for it to come.i end here now.the blog would never be deleted.it would be part of my past.